Do you like girls? How about monster girls? Whether your girl is a vampire, werewolf, zombie, or witch, she’s going to have preferences. Here are five tips to keep her happy.
1) Offer Bones.
Girls love bones. Take my word for it. If you bring a woman a bone, she will perhaps pocket it or give it a taste, depending on her disposition. If your girlfriend is a werewolf, give it a toss.
2) Bubble Baths.
Supernatural and natural girls alike have an appreciation for bubble baths. If your partner is more of the bloodthirsty type, no need to use real blood—red food dye in the bubble solution should work just fine.
3) Meal Planning.
Many people don’t realize that monsters are a category of persons with unique dietary needs. Thus, sitting down and planning a fresh, raw, still-twitching meal with your monster girlfriend can keep her happy and healthy. Bonus points if you catch your victim... I mean, food... together.
4) Haunt Together.
Is your girlfriend less of the eating type and more of the haunting type? If she’s a bit of a homebody—perhaps tied to that old Victorian you share with your mysterious, shadowy roommate you’ve only seen twice—she might appreciate it if you tidy the place up. But don’t rearrange any furniture without discussing it first.
Hopefully, these tips will help keep your monster girlfriend happy this spooky season. Worst case, feed her a few trick-or-treaters — that usually does the trick (pun intended).
Kit Karlsson
Genre: Fantasy Romance
Publisher: Lake Country Press
Date of Publication: October 29, 2024
Number of pages: roughly 300
Word Count: 97,700
Cover Artist: Fay Lane
Tagline: In a world where magic can save or shatter, Kol Mendona must survive lethal secrets—and an even deadlier love—as he discovers he might not be as human as he believed…
Book Description:
Kol Mendona, one of the last humans on the magical continent of Alon, is desperate to escape his dying underground compound. When Alessi, a fierce dragon slayer with silver eyes, arrives, Kol sees a way out. As they journey together through the deadly wastes, an unexpected bond forms between them – one fueled by passion and dangerous magic.
But as Kol’s strange new powers awaken, their bond becomes increasingly unstable. Something within him is changing in ways he doesn’t fully understand, and if Alessi ever discovers the truth, Kol may lose more than her affections…
Excerpt 2:“So, do you work?” Kol wiped his nose, feeling sand grate against his skin.“Do princesses… need to work?”“Usually, but now I’m a freelancer.” Alessi felt at her hair, tragic and frayed.“You’re unemployed, you mean?” Kol asked.“If you must know, I am ‘available for hire’.” She threw her head back.“But money’s money, and business is business.” She had a severe look on her face. “That’s how things are in the witch kingdom.”
About the Author:
Kit enjoyed writing as a child and rediscovered her passion during the COVID-19 lockdown. She has a degree in finance from Southern Methodist University and recently graduated from Georgetown University Law Center, where she was the administrative editor of an academic publication. When she’s not writing, you can find her running barefoot, taming stray cats, or listening to paranormal podcasts.
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