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Friday, August 26, 2022

Supernatural Dating Tips with Violette L. Meier #Paranormal #UrbanFantasy #Horror




Finding love is hard, especially in the time of internet dating, COVID, andgaslighting.Just trying to find someone you can still talk to after a late night of Netflix and chilling is a struggle. But there is hope. The world is becoming more open minded and welcoming of other mores. You don’t have to limit yourself to only humans. There is a whole gamut of supernatural hotties that would be happy to take you out for a night on the town. There’s no need to fear that bump in the night, those glowing eyes in the woods, or the shifting shadow in the corner. Your soulmate may be only afull moon away.

Here are six dating tips for dating the monstrous and mysterious.

1. Ghosts
If you like spontaneous entities, ghosts are the ones for you. They pop in and out unexpectantly and love to surprise their partners. Be careful not to slip if they sneak up on you in the shower. Fun and good-humored, they love playing pranks by rattling doorknobs and stomping through the hallway in the middle of the night. They’re quite romantic. They love to whisper in your ear and pull down your covers while you’re sleeping. Your relationship will never be boring because they keep you on edge. 
The best tip to having a successful relationship with a ghost is to keep an open mind so they can penetrate your thoughts and make sure you’re honest because you never know when they’ll pop in on you.

2. Vampires
Sexy and seductive, these lip biters are all about commitment. So much so, they’ll promise you forever and deliver if you let them. Although a bit aggressive with the neck biting, they are all about cuddling (mainly because their cold dead skin needs your bodily warmth). They are usually filthy rich. Lurking on the earth for hundreds of years makes it impossible to be broke. They’re always good for conversations under the stars. 

The best tip for dating a vampire is to work at a blood bank so they can suck the bag instead of your neck. Be careful. Vampires have the power of mind control. They are the masters of gaslighting. Also, no matter how romantic the night, they always disappear before morning, and they can be very sacrilegious.

3. Werewolves
These wild hairy bad boys/girls are all about raw, hot passion. They are free-spirited nature lovers who will chase you through the woods and lick your armpits dry when you get too sweaty. Although they can have anger issues, they are all bark and no bite (unless it’s a full moon) and respond well to heavy petting, tummy rubs, ear-tickling, and playing frisbee. Werewolves don’t mind hairy legs or straggly beards. They have a true appreciation for natural beauty.

The best tip for dating a werewolf is to be aware of the moon cycle. Dates under the new moon are when they are at their best but invest in some heavy chains for your basement for when they stay over during a full moon.

4. Zombies
Not very talkative or intellectually stimulating, zombies are easygoing, accommodating, and quiet. They’re simple creatures; expecting nothing and willing to go with the flow. Feed them rare meat or hold their hand during an ultraslow stroll down the street and they are completely satisfied. If looks and body odor aren’t that important to you, you won’t mind missing limbs and a little decaying flesh. 
The best tip for dating a zombie is to never lean your head on its shoulder, the temptation to bite your skull may be too much to handle.

5. Witches/Wizards
Forget a leather jacket and a motorcycle, there is nothing more exhilarating than riding on the back of a broom belonging to a dark cloaked prestidigitator. These magic makers know how to conjure up all kinds of adventures. Besides being fashion forward in timeless black and the occasional pointy hat, they are amazing in the kitchen. With cauldrons full of hot stews and bubbling potions, you’ll never go hungry dating them.

Dating tips: If you are allergic to cats or don’t like your date walking around with a staff, they are not for you. Also, beware. Break their heart and you’ll be the secret ingredient in their next potion.

6. Mummies
If you’re into mature partners, mummies have thousands of years of wisdom under their bandages and firsthand knowledge of life after death. They are highly cultured with a love of antiques and ancient relics. Museums are some of their favorite places. Dragging one leg behind, their distinctive strut is eye-catching and their lean physiques and high cheekbones are to die for.

The best tips for dating mummies are to give them lots of milk and calcium supplements to help strengthen their fragile bones and to keep lots of fresh bandages and a vat of lotion nearby to help keep their dry skin from flaking off all over the floor.

Now that you have the tea on the paranormal, hopefully, these tips will help you find your new supernatural bae. Go get ‘em before they get you!


Oracles
Violette L. Meier

Genre: Paranormal, Urban Fantasy, Horror
Publisher: Viori Publishing, LLC
Date of Publication: June 5, 2022
ISBN-10: ‎0991343298
ISBN-13:  978-0991343294
ASIN: B0B38VQJSX
Number of pages: 234
Cover Artist: Violette L. Meier

Tagline: A spiritually intuitive woman shares her life story with her family on her 101st birthday as a strange shadowy entity makes its presence known.

Book Description:

It’s Ma Lily’s 101st birthday and her family is helping her celebrate as she tries fruitlessly to ignore a shadowy entity lurking nearby. Her family sits at her feet drinking in the story of an extraordinary woman recounting her extraordinary life.

Oracles is jam-packed with paranormal thrills, miracles and magic, and a rich family history filled with love and life lessons.


Excerpt:

It’s February 12th and I’ve made my one hundred and first circle around the sun. I was hoping, when I opened my eyes this morning, to be in the bosom of Abraham or to be trying to possess the body of a newborn baby, or at least be sunbathing in a flowery field in another dimension; but I’m still here on earth celebrating another birthday. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful. I am able-bodied and in my right mind. I can still dance when I hear a song that takes me back to times when the winding of my hips could hypnotize any onlooker into a helpless trance. Now the winding of my hips sounds like a twentieth-century watch being wound. My lined face is but a shadow of the woman I used to be. The mirror lies; showing me crow’s feet and laugh lines as deep as canyons; muddy eyes and a turkey neck. When I close my eyes, I see taut skin, gypsy eyes, voluptuous lips, and a neck like a swan’s. I am still that woman inside.

My health is good. Well, most of the time anyway. My blood pressure gets a bit high when I eat too many potato chips or take a week off from walking. My knee gets a little stiff at times and occasionally low energy levels force my bedtime to start with the evening news.

I could do the average old lady thing and offer a list of my ailments, but I won’t because for the most part, I’m healthy and happy.  I’m surrounded by my family, who loves me. I live in a cozy home that I share with my eldest granddaughter, Saige, and her family. Saige and her husband Kevin have been good to me.  Life is pleasant.

Sadness creeps upon me from time to time because my heart still yearns for my husband. It has been ten years since Josiah transitioned. According to him, he’s probably in a new body trying to learn the lessons he missed his last lifetime. I never believed much in reincarnation, but he did, and I am sure that he lives on somewhere in the world. Josiah had a knack for being right or so he claimed. My luck, he’s right about reincarnation and I’ll have to come back to this godforsaken planet. Not that I do not love living, but I have been on this earth a long time and I am ready to be gathered to my people. The ancestors are calling me. Their beckoning plays in my ears like a song stuck on repeat, fluttering in the distance but growing louder each day. I can hear them calling my name; a melodic whisper that never stops humming day or night.

“Ma Lily!” my ten-year-old great grandchild yells from the other side of the door.

Violet is a loud one. Her voiceis deep and full sounding like a chorus harmonizing every note. It would be perfect for the voice of God in a movie.

“Ma Lily, can I come in?” she asks as she taps the door like her finger is vibrating. I see the shadow of her toes dancing underneath the door.

I tell her to come in and Violet pushes open the door like she is trying to test her strength; causing it to fly open like a tornado is spinning in the hallway. Every time I see her, which is every single day, I laugh inside. She brings me delight in the richest form. Violet looks the most like me out of all my great grandchildren, light brown with freckles. A cloud of thick black hair sits on the top of her head like a beach ball which is held in place by a giant purple ribbon tied into a perfect bow with its ends framing the sides of her face. She has the most intoxicating smile on this side of the world. She is radical, nonconforming, fearless and ostentatious like a ten-year-old should be.  

“Whatchadoin’?” Violet asks plopping down in my rocking chair as I push myself up into a sitting position. I pull the covers off my legs and toss my legs off the side of the bed. I look down at my ashy feet as my toenails scrape the floor. My toenails look like talons. One day, I will take the time to clip them. Maybe I was turning into a wild thing like a creature in one of Violet’s story books. I voice activate the lamp and instruct Violet to open the curtains by pushing a button on the nightstand.
Sunlight changes the entire energy of the room. It instantly renews every cell in my body. Suddenly, a new birthday didn’t seem so annoying.

“Just waking up,” I answer looking at the digital holographic clock hovering over my nightstand. It was 7:59 a.m. “Why are you up so early?” I ask her as she rocks back and forth swinging her legs like she is on a playground swing. The chair groans like an old man. “It’s Wednesday. Why aren’t you in school?”

“Because it’s your birthday!” Violet exclaims. “Mama says that turning one hundred and one is a big deal. Aunt Cleo once told me that one hundred and one was the angel number for happiness and prosperity. Do you believe that?”

“Could be. Anything is possible,” I reply with a yawn.

“She also said that today we’re gonna party like it’s 1999!” Violet says scratching her head confused about what that meant. That song is nearly a century old. I am surprised her mother knew the lyrics, but then again, Prince is and will always be my favorite musical artist of all time. My children grew up on his music and when my grandchildren and great grandchildren visit me, they too became familiar with his ear-piercing falsetto and his sacrosanct sexuality. I love everything about that little musical mastermind. If I had any musical ability, Prince is who I would channel. For a moment, I consider placing my music microchip into my ear and playing Prince’s greatest hits, but I’m sure Violet will not let me listen in peace. Per her request, I would have to blast it loud through the ceiling speakers and frankly, it is way too early in the morning for that kind of noise. Way too early for any type.

“What does your mama have planned?” I ask, a little anxious about Saige’s plans.

Saige always went over and beyond what was humanly necessary to do. She is a perfectionist in the worst way and habitually slunk away from gratification like it was the plague. Watching her frown and fret over every single detail was torture. Saige could make a person feel guilty about having a birthday because of all the trouble that celebrating it would cause her. I’m glad I won’t be around to see her plans for my funeral.

When I turned one hundred, she made a movie about my life consisting of old videos and photographs. It was a nice sentiment until she rented out a local theater to show it and invited everyone in town. I had to wait in line for thirty minutes to see my own movie and she stressed herself out over cold popcorn and incorrect digital tickets until she fainted and had to be fanned back to consciousness.

“I can’t tell you,” Violet says as she hops off the rocking chair onto my bed.

The bounce nearly catapults me across the room. I grip the mattress to balance myself and exhale.

“Can I do your hair?” she asksas she twists my silver dreadlocks into loops and pin them to the top of my head. I lift myself so she can pullthe ones free that I am sitting on, and I sit back on the bed.

“Looks like you’re already doing it,” I retort while yawning. I sit as still as I can as my great granddaughter styles my hair. My dreadlocks are floor length. It amazes me how she effortlessly gathers my big blue-gray ropes of hair and turns them into flower petals. She pulls the last bobby pin from her pocket and places it in my hair.

“Done!” she exclaims and bolts back over to the rocking chair.

I stand up and walk over to the cherry wood vanity that sits in the corner of my room, pull the emerald cushioned seat out and sit down. I look in the mirror and smile. Violet does exquisite hair just like her grandmother, my daughter, Chloe.

“Thank you, baby,” I reply as I put on a thin coat of pink lip gloss and give myself an air kiss in the mirror. I swear the lip gloss and hairstyle takes twenty years off my face. I don’t look a day over eighty.

“You’re welcome Ma Lily,” Violet replies as she rocks like a mad woman in the chair.

“Bring me my owls,” I instruct while admiring my hair in the mirror.

Violet hops off the chair and crosses the room and opens the top drawer of my jewelry armoire. She pulls out two sterling silver necklaces, both with large owls hanging from them, and a matching pair of earrings. After she hands them to me, I put on both necklaces, one owl hanging lower than the other and put on the dangling earrings.

I look at myself once again in the mirror and smile, extremely pleased with Violet’s handy work. I feel beautiful.

A shadow moves on the opposite side of the room, its dark reflection appearing like a man made of smoke. My chest constricts as I gasp aloud. I spin around.  Nothing is there.

The room falls silent. The screeching rocker squeals no more. Violet sits in the rocking chair as if time has stopped; her small face flushes red and her back is as stiff as a board.

“You okay baby?” I ask her as a shiny tear makes its way down her cheek.

“Did you see it?” she whimpers.

“I saw it,” I confess. I want to deny it, but it is no use. Violet and I both were born with a veil; born with two crowns on our heads like the ancestors used to say. It was one of the things that helped us forge such an intimate relationship. Her mother cannot see, but her grandmother Chloe can and so can Violet’s older brother Uriah.

“It’s coming to get you Ma Lily. I saw it,” Violet whines. “I don’t want you to go.”

I stand up and walk over to my great grandchild. I instruct her to stand up so I can sit down. My knee is hurting a little. Rain must be coming. Violet sits on my good knee. She feels heavier than she did yesterday.

“There is a season for everything under heaven,” I reply. “A time to laugh and a time to cry. A time to live and a time to die.”



About the Author: 

Violette Meier is a happily married mother, writer, folk artist, poet, and native of Atlanta, Georgia, who earned her B.A. in English at Clark Atlanta University and a MDiv at the Interdenominational Theological Center. She is also a certified herbalist, a life coach, and an educator. 

The great-granddaughter of a dream interpreter, Violette is a lover of all things supernatural and loves to write paranormal, fantasy, and horror. She is always working on something new.

Her books include: Out of Night, Angel Crush, Son of the Rock, Archfiend, Ruah the Immortal, Oracles, Tales of a Numinous Nature, Hags, Haints and Hoodoo, Loving and Living Life One Day at aTime, Violette Ardor: A Volume of Poetry, This Sickness We Call Love: Poems of Love, Lust, and Lamentation, and two children's books. 

To learn more about Violette and her eerie antics, visit her online:










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